well it's very late, and i'm very tired...
but today i did something new and exciting and i thought i should share. i drove to peoria (my first foray into the southernish part of illinois!) to audition for survivor. yes, the actual, real, cbs, jeff-probst-hosted survivor. since it was being held at a thing called "family fest" i was a little nervous that it might be a "hometown idol"-type thing... like "peoria's survivor!" or something fake like that. but no, it was a real audition for survivor! legit!
i took the trip w/ my roommate julie, who is both adventurous AND willing to wake up at 7 am on a saturday. we passed through several extremely small towns... including el paso, illinois. for some reason, i pity small towns whose names are more easily recongizable as names of bigger cities. like "paris, texas." it's just weird to me. now, i have "lived" in illinois since the fall of 2004, but i've never been anywhere other than chicago and chicago's suburbs. it's actually a huge state outside of those areas, which should be obvious but wasn't to me.
we arrived in peoria safely due to my new GPS system that my parents bought me for christmas, i think both because they love me and pity my extremely poor navigation skills. anyway that thing is AMAZING! and it fixes your mistakes for you! julie and i would probably still be stuck in eureka (home of ronald reagan's alma mater!) if not for this incredible invention.
so julie and i arrived at the peoria convention center and paid $5 (RIP-OFF if you're not using the opportunity to audition for survivor), entered some door prize competitions, found the survivor booth, and started scoping out the competition. and honestly, there wasn't much competition. there was a guy missing some teeth, and another guy who was SUPER INTENSE. his "interview" basically sounded like he was just reading his resume, but in a super intense voice. intense is really the only way i can describe him. i was intimidated but not defeated.
anyway, so julie and i filled out our applications (which took about half an hour), answering questions like "who is your hero and why?" and "describe your perfect day" and "what would you NOT do for one million dollars?"
answering these questions was both a joy and a burden. i mean, i love surveys, but also hate things that feel like homework. hmm.
after filling them out, we waited in a very short line to get our chance to really shine in front of the camera. and by "shine," i mean stutter, stumble, gesticulate awkwardly, and BS my way through a 2-minute monologue about why i should be on the 19th (yes, 19th) season of survivor. to give you a little taste of how classy and prepared i was, my on-camera monologue consisted of the following reasons as to why CBS should pick me:
1. it's COLD in illinois and i'd like to go to a desert island
2. i'm young and adventurous (i know, this is an extremely unique answer - one i'm sure the producers have yet to hear)
3. i want to be a co-host on "the view," so i'm just trying to follow in elizabeth hasselbeck's footsteps (she got her start on "survivor" - imdb it!)
and of course, in order to be super classy, i ended by singing a few lines from the destiny's child classic, "survivor."
so basically, i think i'm a shoe-in.
not but seriously - my audition was disjointed, ill-prepared, awkward, and a little condescending toward CBS, i think. and i think my application was probably too sarcastic. but it was a very fun morning!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
please remember all of us peons when you are a famous survivor in some exotic place that most people in America have never heard of. hopefully this season won't be like "Survivor Iraq" because then it would ACTUALLY be survivor.
you are amazing. and also, the GPS has saved me so many times. but yeah. i'm sure you could have guessed that already since you know my lack of sense of direction already :)
Post a Comment